Part XI (old stuff newly dusted off) (12 April)

My emotions are running wild; fear, love (??) denial; this distance is a pittance, yet for me a great trial. How assuming I am, expressing myself without shame, when I don’t even know if you feel the same. I feel so bad that I can talk so freely in a book, yet clam up like a cad when you give me but a look. But your eyes, true windows to your soul. Shining and innocent, full of joy and laughter, and pure. When you look at me your eyes dig a hole, exposing my true being, it seems, and I not quite sure if they are laughing at me, because of me, or in spite of me? Your smile, it makes me flutter, so I blink my eyelids, like a shutter, so you don’t see the way I feel. But maybe you do — and it makes you wonder….?


In my pain I find solace in you/ In my joy I turn away/ When it’s dark I come crawling through/ In my happiness I run away/ Who’s coming with me? —————————————————————————————

Too often you turn around/ to realize that I’m missing./ It can’t be easy to know/ that I love you when it doesn’t show.


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